Lucky Number Seven

September 24, 2002, seven years ago, I became a Mom. My sweet Collin came into this world a little peanut of a guy. 6 pounds 8 ounces. It was a long and medically complicated labor that ended in a c-section from which he kind of sauntered out. Laid there under the heat lamps, quiet, observant, hands behind his head, totally relaxed. We quickly learned it wasn't a predictor of his temperament, but it was an indication of his wisdom.

Dubbed the "Professor" for his serious and studious nature Collin has always behaved more like an adult than a child. Except when he's throwing tantrums which he does regularly. Even at 7. And honestly I believe the tantrums come from his frustration at having to exist in the world as a child. His brain works quickly and he does not suffer fools gladly, especially his Mother. And if only we would all just let him do what he needs to do when he needs to do it there wouldn't be any problems at all.

I don't mean that disrespectfully. The kid is a genius and far surpasses my intellectual capabilities and capacity for learning. He's always thinking, has a fast processor, and is usually several steps ahead of me. Even when he's wrong about something there's a clear logic flow to how he ended up at his destination.

But he's not ALL seriousness. He's developed this bond with animals this year. He dotes on our cats Linus and Lucy and has a relationship with them that is parental and nurturing. He's taken it upon himself to be their caregiver. He tends to their physical as well as emotional needs. It's clear he takes animals very seriously (oh...there's that word again...) and I have to admit his tenderness with them fills me with so much pride.

Collin also has a sincere passion for soccer. He commits 100% to the whole game with total focus. He runs at top speed, always follows and charges the ball, plays his position even when it's defense. And, well, coaches the other players as he does so. There's always sort of a running commentary coming from him, a coaches narrative about strategy and who should be where and doing what.

But what is pressing on my heart the most on this seventh anniversary of the day my life changed forever is how much he's changed in just one year. The physical difference is symbolic. He's becoming a KID as opposed to a child. And I'm finding myself needing to make adjustments in how I parent him. Give him more freedom, more independence. More credit for all he knows. Trust myself that I've taught him enough for now, trust him to do the right thing. Let him make some mistakes, figure some things out on his own. And it's scary. This shift, ever so subtle, away from needing me so much.


We struggle often. We don't understand each other. We battle over small things. I frustrate him, he aggravates me. So much of our household dynamic is dominated by his anger and attitude. And yet, this kid, is one of the sweetest you'll ever meet. He's got a heart of gold. He's popular at school, the teachers love him, he listens attentively and behaves well. He is a good kid. As much as we sometimes think he's not, as much as he sometimes feels he's not, he actually is. And he has a smile that simply melts this Mother's heart.


Ours is a complicated relationship. We're both complicated people with our own big ideas about what it means to exist in the world. And often there's a clash of wills. But what is absolutely true is that seven years ago my life changed for the better. For I am a better person for parenting Collin. He is teaching me things about myself, about life, about love that I would not have learned without him. And every night I go into his room while he's sleeping, lay my hand on that growing body, and fall in love all over again. And always strive to do better tomorrow.

I love you my Doodle.

Love,
Momgom

And They Lived Happily Ever After . . .

I had the pleasure this month of photographing a 50th wedding anniversary party. I will admit that the idea of a 50th wedding anniversary some days at this stage in my life seems like a marathon for which I'm not sure I have the energy. Like I'm somewhere on mile 6 and feeling like it's not too late to just duck out now. I've run enough to consider it a good work out but who am I kidding? I've just started this thing and I'm already tired and burning emotional energy like a weighted down SUV guzzles fuel. I doubt my ability to have the stamina to make it all the way to mile 26. So I approach a 50th Anniversary party like most people do - with curiosity and a desire to learn something about how it's possible. Who makes it to 50 years together and how do they do it?

Take a look at Dick and Carolyn Kelley.

It's clear joy has been an essential part of their marriage. The toasting portion was sweet but mostly funny, not overly sentimental. They are happy people who have loved living their lives together. It shows in all of their relationships and the way they interact with and respect one another. My favorite quote from Dick, "The best part (about 50 years) is it's not over!"

I know, me too right?

There were family members assembled. This is Carolyn's baby sister who flew in from Colorado.
And there were children and grandchildren and even great grandchildren.




The whole group all assembled. Boisterous and fun and a happy bunch.

Led by the stars of the show - the matriarch and patriarch of this grand clan - Dick and Carolyn. Such a testament of enduring love, grace, forgiveness, joy. Carolyn said the kids wanted to throw them a party to celebrate their marriage. And she said, "But what they don't realize is that we celebrate our marriage every day."



So that's how it's done. It's as simple and as wondrous as that.

Saris and Bindis and Bangles oh My!

Meet the lovely R, our hostess and guest of honor for the fabulously themed Indian Princess Birthday Party. Sweet Lady R has just turned 5 and she is one of my dear Sadie's very best friends. Lady R has been blessed to be born into a family that is as unique and fabulous as those amazing curls on her head. Everything they do is over the top and they personify the phrase "joie de vivre".

There were saris and bindis and bangles for all the girls. And they all got to hand bead a necklace to take home. That gorgeous woman all decked out in full regalia is R's Supermom.




And of course there was a homemade Taj Mahal cake. Of course there was!




I'm not exactly sure what she wished for but it's clear she put great thought into it. With her family, I'm sure the dreams were big, and that they'll all come true.

The Bitty Biscuit Turns Four

OK let me just say 2009 has been a rough summer. For a lot of reasons. One of the toughest times in my life. Last summer was one of my best summers ever. The kids were just at these wonderful ages and we had so much fun playing together. So this year I decided not to put them in any camps. That we were going to have Camp Mom. And I was going to relax and enjoy them all day long as we lolly-gagged our way through the rotation of beach, park, pool.

(Seasoned parents already know where this is going and have determined that choice must mean I'm insane.)

The weather didn't cooperate. That was one. Chicago's famous Bummer Summer has had us damp and cold for much of the season. The other is that I'm just in a funk which is not conducive to running Camp Mom with much enthusiasm. And lastly the children's ages this year are less fun for me personally. And they are tough kids. They are. I love them but they're tough. And my sweet little Biscuit who is my lover and snuggler and give back girl is turning 4. Today. (Well today as I write this.) And 4 is a hard age in this household. It was a nearly impossible year for me with Collin. And my little Sadiekins has been way ahead of schedule with the arrival of attitude and sass and screaming. Oh the screaming! Fewer snuggles, more fights. Sibling rivalry! Time outs! Sensitivities!

And just like the cobbler's children have no shoes the Photographer's kids this year have few pictures. I just haven't had my camera out much all summer. I told you I was in a funk!

But I did pull together a highlight reel of the last year with Sadie Lady. A few pictures that capture the essence of my girl. The good the bad and the funny. Starting with my favorite picture of the year. One that perhaps best illuminates my summer mood....

In cuter dress up news we have Safari Girl. Or actually cowgirl. She thinks this is a cowgirl hat. And she's all riding the range when she puts it on. Even though she also wears the binoculars at the same time. Couldn't be more safari. But to her (and therefore to the rest of us) it's the Wild West.

If I had to choose one word that best describes Sadie's personality, it would be passionate. That displays on her with such joy and enthusiasm. She is as likely to scream and squeal with delight as she is to throw herself on the floor in hysterics. She's rather well known for her high pitched sometimes deafening happiness.


She has her moods too. She's passionately grumpy on occasion. And sad. She expresses all emotions with gusto.


But she is perhaps most well known for being a lover. I don't know how else to put it - she falls in love. Easily, transparently, and often. She's choosy to a certain extent but not at all stingy. She loves with her whole heart and soul.



For all her passion she can actually be rather thoughtful at times. Reflective, pensive, reverent. It doesn't happen often and it's easy to miss. But she thinks about things. Or maybe it's more that she spends time with quieter emotions as as well. (She is a feeler after all.) Her depth is not to be taken for granted.

That's my love bug. My Sadie Girl. Miss Kins. It's been a rough patch lately but overall she is my delight, my passion, she fills my soul with wonder and marvel and I am profoundly blessed for the gift she is in my life. I'm excited for her as she embarks on the adventure of pre-K but so sad to see how much my little girl is growing up. How much more independent she is. And I want to stop and scream to the heavens, "Wait! I didn't enjoy it as much as I should. I wasn't as present as I wanted to be. It was harder than I thought it would be. Can I take a make-up test?"

But there is no make up. There is no second chance. Her first 3 years are behind us. And while I know in my heart it has been wonderful for us both, the greedy and guilty part of me wishes I could bottle the best of those times and keep them close. That the worst of those times I could erase. And that everything in between somehow made a difference.


I love you Sadie Lady,
Momgon

Cutest.Child.Ever.

Yes, the title is correct. This sweet Baby C is the cutest child ever. And believe me, I'm placing her above my own precious babies. I've met good kids, sweet kids, beautiful kids, smart kids, precocious kids, chatty kids, resilient kids, but I had never before seen all these qualities in one child. Miss C has it all.

It's not the biggest surprise. Her parents are two of the most amazing people you could ever hope to meet. Mom is a sparkler - a trait she passed to her daughter.

Dad graced her with his sense of adventure and good times.

But she is very clearly her own person. We haven't seen her in nearly a year. And we had the most delightful visit. It took me about 10 seconds to fall right back in love with her.

She adapted quite easily to our household and my kids. She's a flexible and charming traveler. She keeps her parents on their toes. This is a big world with tons of opportunities and she's not going to miss a thing. Plus she's fearless and fast. Even though she can be a challenge in the best sense of a 2 year old, her joy, that lively face and personality makes time with her an experience, an inspiration in curiosity and energy. Ah, to be 2 again....