Happy Birthday

This is Betty. Or as she's often called in these parts - THE BETTY.

She is my local family. The fact that we're actually not related is a mere technicality. She, more than anyone else, shares the intimacies of my life. I call Betty on good days and bad days and she's always there for me. She is my rock and without her I'd be lost.

She's not only a rock for me, she's a rock for many. It's who she is. It's what she does. People are drawn to her vibrant light and supportive, safe, and encouraging nature.

Meet Bernadette and Alexa. Betty's actual relatives (well, 2 of several). The closest sister in age to her, her Irish twin, and soul sister. Alexa is Betty's niece, Bernadette's daughter. And they were here recently visiting from Betty's home state of Washington. Are you following along?

Good.

One of the things that makes Betty so special is her ability to feel deeply and truly adore her loved ones. She shares her heart abundantly. And she LOVES these two so much.


And thought it would be a nice birthday gift for Bernadette (and Alexa) to have a fun photo session.

I relished capturing them all together, having fun, enjoying each other, goofing off.


Alexa is 13. A teenager. And she's acting like a teenager. Her Mom is patient, forgiving, silly, sweet, and stern when she needs to be. She takes her parenting seriously and nothing in the world is more important than her daughter. Even if it's not obvious between them all the time (because that would be impossible) it's a truth that can't be denied or shaken.

The first time I met Bernadette she was on a trip by herself here in Chicago to see Betty. It was January 2009. We had this lovely dinner, her trip was almost over. And her heart was aching for Alexa. She was enjoying her time so much but saw Chicago through the eyes of someone who wishes she had her favorite person with her to share it. Later that night - thankfully safely in the care of her Betty - she got a call-in-the-middle-of-the-night. And journeyed home the next day hoping that no one would get to her daughter before she could, to tell Alexa her Daddy unexpectedly and suddenly died; he was gone and she'd never get to see him again. Hear him laugh. Have him hold her in his arms.

No young person should have their world so shaken. It just isn't right or fair.

But she's OK. She's a normal teenager. And she's been given the space to talk about her feelings and her Dad as often as she needs or wants to. And of course the little girl in her wishes she could bring him back even for just a moment.

But the strong young woman in her holds the key to wisdom some adults never learn, "Hey guess what life - you've shown me the worst and I didn't crumble. You.don't.scare.me."

So This Lawyer Walks into Parenthood....

Newsflash: divorce sucks. It's complicated emotionally and financially. And until I found my amazing and incredible lawyer I felt adrift and incapable of navigating the tricky waters of ending my marriage. And then I met with Beth for one hour and became a sea of calm. She made me feel supported, enoucouraged, taken care of, heard. Mike and I are committed to preserving amicability and the collaborative process, and Beth is not only supportive of those goals, but her leadership has been invaluable.

And I had the extreme pleasure of meeting her daughter for a photo session recently. And that girl has implanted herself in my soul. Meet Lucy....

Technically Lucy has "issues" of varying shapes and sizes. Which is really schools and doctors way of labeling kids who don't fit the mold we'll call "normal". What Lucy makes SO OBVIOUS is that some people just have too big of a personality for childhood and little bodies and learning things that seem unimportant to vibrant, intuitive, empathic, thoughtful souls.


Lucy had questions for me, lots of them. And honestly I haven't had a grown up take such interest in me in a long time, much less a child. She was data gathering, putting details to the gut sense she had of me. It was a visceral chemical exchange.


Lucy has made up her own language for some things. And she just operates differently. It's spiritual and kinesthetic and incredibly intense. I imagine her mind like a pointillism masterpiece. It seems scattered and disconnected at first glance but eventually her logic is revealed and the beauty emerges.

And she's enduring the rigors of childhood as best she can. It all seems too constricting for her if you ask me. She has this enormous spirit - and routines and rules and worksheets and conventions quite frankly seem ridiculous given all she seems capable of thinking and feeling.





And I'm fairly certain she is not what her parents were expecting.


And there are a hundred and one ways to handle the difference between expectation and reality. And the path they have chosen is to really SEE her. And let her be who she is. And love her with such compassion and acceptance and delight. And the connection they share is profound and comforting and inspiring. There are so many mysteries in life, why things go the way they go. Why some people come into your life, why others leave. One thing that is absolutely clear to me is that Lucy landed in just the right spot.

They're Having a Baby!

My dear friend Amelia and her wonderful husband Greg are having a baby! Soon! So we gathered on a warm summer night (at their commune - more on that later) to capture the beauty of them and this pregnancy.

There is nothing quite so wondrous as that 9 months that precedes the birthing of new life. It's an emotionally complex time where new parents-to-be spend half their time present in their actual lives and the other half daydreaming about what's coming next.

Amelia and Greg were born to be parents and will elevate the calling to a high art. I have every confidence in stating this as fact. You can't find two more sincere, intentional, loving people.

Who manage to combine all their depth and intelligence with great warmth and laughter and joy.

And there's something so magical about witnessing this incredible bond between them now. The dance they're doing in supporting one another, sharing the experience together even though it's so different for each of them. Honoring one another and strengthening as a couple.

Now, to the commune. See? I promised I would pick that up. It's actually not a commune. That's my personal joke. It's a community really. They went in with some other like minded friends and bought this giant fabulous house together. And they live mostly in harmony all together, sharing the trials and tribulations and joys and celebrations of daily life. There is support all around them. And help and company. It's very groovy and the coolest urban experiment I know.

And I've wanted to take the following picture ever since I found out Amelia was pregnant. Because they are quite purposely not going it alone. And as this group of Presbyterians were laying on hands there was this hum of energy in the air, intimate and poignant.

Congratulations to you all - we're awaiting the new arrival to your community with great anticipation.

Sophie B

Mom: "Once upon a time, there was a little girl. What was the girl's name?"
Daughter: "Sophie!"

Mom pauses...
Daughter: "No, Mei Ai Zhen"

And thus begins the story of how a Mother and her child found each other from half a world away.

Miss Sophie literally explodes with happiness.

And her Mom, her single Mom, wanted to capture her at this age. She's just turned 5, she's on the cusp of Kindergarten and big girl-ness. So we wanted to seal in her sweet, exuberance before she grows into the next stage of her childhood.

Luckily for me Mom likes twirling pictures, and Sophie loves to twirl.

We tried to make the shoot about Sophie. We really did.

But mostly she just wanted her Mama. Wanted to play with her, be with her, be photographed with her. And when her Mom is going it alone (something I so acutely admire), without a daily witness to the joys and trials, I was happy to get some pictures of them together. So Sophie can see her Mother's devotion.

But also, so Mom can see how much her daughter truly worships her and feels most at home wrapped in her arms.

SuperMom

I had the luxury of yet again visiting my dear friend Sarah at her fabulous home in Park City, Utah, for the Sundance Film Festival. In January. This "sneak peek" is long overdue...

The Smyths have good news and bad news. The good news? Eric has a job he LOVES in California and they are trading in their snow shoes for flip flops. The bad news? Saying goodbye to a life they love in Park City. And the fact that Eric works in CA all week and Sarah is taking care of their three children all by herself.

I loved how often she engaged with each kid, gave them some individual attention all while managing to keep the place clean and entertain me. It helps that she's got big kids who love their house and their Mom and have a pretty good sense of what they can and can't get away with.




The one demanding most of the attention is Baby O. Who is on the move and very fast, like his sister and brother were. But with that face? And that personality? Who wouldn't want to follow him around all day? I'm as smitten now as I was when he was a baby.



I wanted to get pictures with Mom in them since Dad isn't around during the week to see or capture all she's managing. She doesn't get a lot of sleep, doesn't sit down, is in constant motion with running the household, feeding and transporting the troops, planning her upcoming move to another state. And she still manages to keep in touch with her friends and family far away, and plans and organizes get togethers with her friends and neighbors in town. She's handling it all with a grace and competence I am sure I couldn't muster. And she'd be the first one to downplay all she does. But I want to publicly acknowledge her for being a total Rockstar Mom.

And I wanted pictures of her with O, because before long he will be a big guy and we'll wonder if he was ever small enough to hold and cuddle.



Great job Sarah. The happy faces of your beautiful children are the evidence you need that you are doing an amazing job. Thanks for the inspiration.

Matters of the Heart

I have my own personal Thanksgiving tradition and that is to photograph the Lambert family. Usually I wouldn't show you such holiday card worthy shots on the blog at this time of year because I wouldn't want to steal their mailbox thunder. But their card is out, the first to arrive in our mailbox. They took a cruise on spring break and used fun pictures from that trip. It's a photogenic family so it's no surprise they had so many great pictures to choose from. But I simply must mark the years by taking their picture whether they want or need it. My pictures are my love song to them, an outpouring of admiration.

Their old English sheepdog Poppins is getting on in years and so we wanted to get some pictures of the family with her. She was lovingly cooperative.

The boys are both actors in the Alley Theatre's production of A Christmas Carol. They are both lovable, precocious and theatrical. But A has dreams of being an actor and has logged more Equity stage time than I have in my 10+ years as a "professional" actor. It's in his DNA and I have every reason to expect him to continue his dramatic success.
And then there's D. Who gets a lot of attention for his adorable looks and precious size. I mean, come on, the kid personifies charming and cute.

And together? Well, just take a look. Who needs words....
K & S both teach high school (upper school for the fancy types) at the Kinkaid School in Houston and both of their boys are students there. (Terrific students I might add.) Kinkaid as you may or may not know is in the middle of a culture war maelstrom which you can read about here. Suffice it to say Kate's English students are witnessing their own personal Crucible right there in their own school.

NOT an easy time. The Lamberts take their work ethic and commitment to the school and community very seriously. But that school and community has become a foreign place of late which would leave anyone feeling shaken to say the least.

So this family is focused in, now more than ever, on what matters most to them. The love and comfort they feel together. On what they wish to teach their children. And holding on as tightly as they can to their one sure thing - each other.